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Las Vegas, Nevada - Feb 7, 2004:
As recently reported by this reporter, Tri-Pact's reclusive Chief Financial
Officer, John Pittelli, was seen boarding a plane to Las Vegas, purportedly
to attend a series of financial investment meetings regarding the
vast Tri-Pact corporate holdings, as well as the equally vast Pittelli Brothers
fortune. (Many insiders believe that the Pittelli Brothers have systematically
drained the corporate coffers, increasing their own personal wealth at the
expense of the other Tri-Pact stockholders, but that's another story.)
Acting on a tip from an anonymous source, known only as Will, this
reporter followed Mr. Pittelli in order to witness first-hand the real
reason for the trip, which was far from simply another financial seminar.
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After a couple of hours at the gaming tables, I followed the financial wizard
as he snuck out the front door of the Mirage and hopped into a waiting
stretch limosine with the name Tri-Pact Travel and Entertainment
Division painted boldly on the side. The limo drove out into the
desert to a secret location surrounded by barbed wire,
known only as Area M5, where Mr. Pittelli
was greeted by a sinister-looking group of individuals.
Advertisement: The Mirage is the official resort for all Tri-Pact
Executives when traveling to Las Vegas, ask about our R/C Tank Combat
specials.
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As is typical with Tri-Pact executives, Mr. Pittelli exchanged greetings with
his un-identified business colleague, along with some cash to help grease
the wheels of business. Although the individual is new to the
R/C Tank Combat hobby, he clearly understands the importance of maintaining
a good business relationship with Tri-Pact.
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After an extensive investigation (we asked his neighbors and did a Google
search), this reporter identified the mysterious individual as Mr. X.
Although reportedly connected to the Las Vegas Police in some way, Mr. X
is widely known around town for a wide range of activities, now including
R/C Tank Combat, and any meeting between him and one of the Pittelli Brothers
from back east can't be merely a meet-and-greet.
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Despite the possibility of being discovered, this reporter was able to
sneak into the meeting facility and snap a photo of Mr. X's gang, known
only as the Vegas Alliance, a super-secret organization with
a somewhat murky reputation.
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Apparently, this rag-tag group consists of a former Navy SEAL,
explosive expert, gunsmith and expert metal worker. No names were
overheard during the discussions about automatic weapons, armored car
reconstruction, torsion bar suspensions and a rather lengthy discussion
about the inadequacy of cheap, plastic parts on the battlefield.
It was clear from the discussions, however, that the Alliance was
not only expecting Mr. Pittelli, but that they had apparently been
working on a project for him for some time and couldn't wait to show it off.
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The Vegas Alliance maintains an extensive workshop,
including a large planograph
cutting machine, reverse plating tank (used to burn out bolts and other
miscellaneous tasks), assorted lathes, template forming dies and this
large milling machine. Clearly, these guys are capable of building or
restoring virtually anything, which explains why Tri-Pact would be
interested in meeting with them. Although recent joint projects
between Tri-Pact and Tyng Laboratories indicate that the two technical
power-houses are joining forces in the east, it is possible that a three-way
technical alliance may be formed to help defend the U.S. against
a growing force of R/C tank combatants in Canada, especially in the
Calgary region.
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After an hour or so of discussions, everyone went outside to examine
one of the Alliance's recent projects, a fully restored Ferret. The
Ferret is street legal in Vegas (what isn't?) which
probably makes for some unusual trips to the 7-11. Clearly, the
Vegas Alliance is prepared for a range of problems and doesn't worry
about fuel economy either. If an invasion were to come from Calgary,
the Alliance would find themselves on the front-lines.
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After the group moved to another part of the backlot,
it suddenly became clear why one of the most powerful men in the
R/C Tank Combat hobby came to the desert to meet with a previously
unknown group of armored vehicle experts ... the Vegas Alliance is building
Tri-Pact a full-sized vehicle to be used on the battlefield.
With lots of smiles and back-slapping, the Alliance showed
off their work in progress to Mr. Pittelli, who was clearly pleased with
the results
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For years, experts have been wondering about the reason for the
3 feet or longer clause in the R/C Tank Combat rules ... now
the answer is clear. Tri-Pact intends to roll a full-size armored
car onto the battlefield, powered by electric motors (EV Warriors
should do the trick) and armed with a 68 cal paintball marker.
Sure, they'll be a big target, but when they run over the opposition
they'll surely win the war!!
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Further evidence of this insidious plan dreamed up by the leaders
of Tri-Pact and the Vegas Alliance was provided when John Pittelli
took the armored car out for a test drive. With a
simple thumbs-up he signaled the completion of a lucrative
contract for the Vegas Alliance and the dawn of a new era in the
R/C Tank Combat hobby. This previously unknown group from the desert
has shaken the hobby to its foundation and has ensured themselves
of a place in the history books.
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To celebrate his extremely successful visit with the Vegas Alliance,
Pittelli fires off a couple hundred rounds from a fully-restored
German MG34, given to him as a present from the Alliance. Although
Tri-Pact policies are very strict with regards to the type of presents
that may be accepted by their executives (usually only cash is allowed),
this reporter is confident that an exemption will be granted in this case.
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The Vegas Alliance clearly represents one of the most technically advanced
and dangerous groups in the R/C Tank Combat hobby. Their technical
achievements are exceeded only by their business achievements, forming
a partnership with the two most powerful forces in the hobby, Tri-Pact and
Tyng Laboratories. Clearly, the Alliance is positioning themselves
as the regional powerhouse in the West, sending a clear signal to
emerging groups in the U.S. Southwest and Northwest, as well as the
Canadian Northwest, that Vegas, and Vegas alone, will rule the west.
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