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Tyng Regime Faltersby Vern Dernberger
Annapolis, Maryland - April 1, 2003:
Over the past two months since this reporter first disclosed serious cracks in the Tyng/Sommer collaboration (see Tyng/Sommer Breakup? for more details), evidence has been mounting that indicates that the Tyng Regime may soon collapse, even before they enter into battle. Many experts believe that the impending collapse is due primarily to the ruthless, predatory business practices of Tyng Enterprises, LLC., which continues to put profits above quality, and an almost complete melt-down of the technical capabilities of the Anvilus Plastic Works. With such serious problems confronting the unstable regime in the face of relentless technical, economic, and political pressures from Tri-Pact, there is no doubt that darker days will soon befall the fledgling enterprise.
Tyng Takes Time To Tango
During the height of the winter building season, with dozens of technical issues to resolve with the development of the Tyng T-34, the flamboyant leader of Tyng Enterprises left the laboratory behind and went on holiday for two weeks. Industry insiders think that the impromptu vacation was necessary to prevent Tyng from suffering a total nervous breakdown resulting from increasing pressures at the top of his faltering empire.
I caught up with Mr. Tyng in the executive lounge of a secluded airfield in southern Maryland, while he was waiting for his private jet to be fueled. Tyng, dressed in a floral print shirt, shorts, sandals and black socks, quickly went on the defensive, "This vacation has been scheduled for over two years and I needed to use my frequent flyer points". When I indicated that private corporate jets don't give out frequent flyer points, he responded with "development of the T-34 is ahead of schedule and I'm confident that Sommerfield will have it working in time". He continued to state that "Sommerfield has been doing a great job since the take-over, er, I mean merger".
"Mr. Tyng", I queried, "who is Sommerfield? Are you referring to Joe Sommer, the head of Anvilus Plastic Works". "Sure, that's the guy", he recalled, "the reasonably bright fellow from Pittsburgh". "Don't you mean Penn State?", I asked as Tyng wandered onto the wrong runway. Clearly, Tyng needed some time off.
Sommer Side-Steps Serious Science
While Steve Tyng was trying to forget about the technical world of warfare, Joe Sommer was ratcheting up his efforts in the laboratory. Unfortunately, as a typical academic technologist, Mr. Sommer seems more concerned with trivial pursuits than solving real-world problems. With a half-completed plastic Hetzer still waiting for proper drive and gun systems, let alone a completed hull, Sommer pursued the development of a vehicle that will have little, if any, practical battlefield value. The so-called, Simms' Armored Quadricycle, is little more than a plastic doll mounted on a set of baby carriage wheels.
An unannounced visit to the Anvilus Plastic Works by this reporter found Mr. Sommer sitting in the middle of the lab floor playing with the aforementioned vehicle. "Mr. Sommer, can I have a word with you about the Tyng/Sommer merger". "Not right now ... I'm working", he said in a somewhat whiny tone, "nobody ever lets me have fun ... bang, bang ... pow-pow-pow"
After about 10 minutes, he agreed to answer some questions. "Sure, I sold all of the Anvillus intellectual property rights, including all patents and trademarks, to Tyng Enterprises in exchange for control of all technical projects, including the T-34". He continued to say that, "I'm confident that it was a great deal for Anvilus, because, in all honesty, we were stymied by some pretty serious problems, like making the track system work properly and actually getting it to work on the battlefield". "Now, Tyng is responsible for getting everything ready for battle", he explained, "and I can focus on serious research projects like the Simms' Armored Quadricycle". When I told him what Tyng told me in the airport about his perception that Sommer would be solving the problems, Sommer simply shrugged his shoulders and said that "whatever ... now I've got to get back to my research".
Clearly, there is a tremendous lack of communication between Tyng and Sommer, leaving the entire regime in a total state of confusion.
Tip Top Tri-Pact Technology
While the Tyng and Sommer story begins to unravel, Tri-Pact continues to methodically develop next generation R/C tanks.
Over the last few months, the venerable Tiger-1 has undergone a complete overhaul, replacing old designs and components with state-of-the-art capabilities. A faster drive system, single-joystick control system, faster rotate mechanism, and more reliable gun magazine are just a few of the improvements that will allow the Tiger-1 to operate effectively on the battlefield throughout it's second decade.
Will Montgomery's combat-hardened Panther has been replaced by a much more capable second-generation vehicle, incorporating the most robust track system in the hobby, an easily-tuned drive system and a very reliable gun system. When combined with Montgomery's unrivaled R/C combat experience, the new Panther will be one of the most dreaded vehicles on the battlefield. When I asked Mr. Montgomery about the tribulations of Tyng and Sommer, he had this to say "If they think they are having problems now, just wait until they're on the battlefield". He calmly stated "They won't know what hit them".
Most experts believe that Tri-Pact's Tiger and Panther, operated by two long-time R/C combat veterans, will be able to easily defeat anything that Tyng and Sommer can throw at them. But, all experts agree that when the new Panzer IV is driven onto the battlefield, it's time for Tyng and Sommer to retire. Although exact details are sketchy because of extensive Tri-Pact security, it is widely believed that the Panzer IV, built by John Pittelli, represents the highest level of technology in the hobby today. A super-reliable track system and an easily-tuned drive system allows the Panzer IV to go virtually anywhere on the battlefield. Armed with an extremely reliable gun system, atop one of the fastest and most dependable rotating systems, this vehicle could set the standard for years to come.
This reporter recently received copies of some top-secret Tri-Pact communications that indicate some of the capabilities of the Panzer IV:
Only One Question Remains
Tri-Pact has always brought superior technology to the battlefield and it looks like this battling season will be no different. Their relentless pursuit of excellence in the workshop, coupled with their vast economic wealth resulting from years of global domination, makes them a force to be feared.
Only one key question remains: Will Tyng and Sommer be able to muster enough technology, talent, and, yes, courage, to make a battle of it?