Tri-Pact News Service

We Make The News

R/C Tank News

Ohio R/C Militia Unveils New Weapon

Dayton, Ohio - August 31, 2002:

As the result of increasing tensions between Maryland and Ohio over the transformation of the Cleveland Browns into the Super Bowl Champion Baltimore Ravens, the Ohio R/C Militia (ORCM) announced today the construction of a Tiger-1 tank. The Militia intends for the tank, which has been officially designated as R/C Tank #T004, to become fully operational sometime in late 2002 or early 2003, with a possible deployment outside the borders of Ohio sometime in the summer of 2003.  

Brian Kraack, the tank developer and operator, released a collection of photos documenting this momentous occasion at the following URL:

When questioned about his intentions, Brian stated that, "the proud members of the Ohio R/C Militia are determined to bring the Browns back to Ohio, even if it means invading Maryland and returning them by force." He continued to state that "we understand the considerable effort that will be required to achieve our goal, but we are focused on meeting the objective at any cost."

Experts believed that ORCM was increasing their war-making capabilities based on recent communications by Kraack, but the magnitude of their objective was not anticipated at all. Dr. Von Huppel, the Director of Strategic Analysis for the Maryland Attack Group (MAG) had this to say upon hearing the news, "can't it wait until after the Labor Day holidays ... er, I mean, we have no comment at this time because we haven't fully analyzed the information."

In a related story, Steve Tyng, a Maryland resident, recently announced plans to construct a T-34 "Tiger Killer" that should be operational in the same time-frame as Kraack's T004. Tentatively designated as R/C Tank #T005 (pending receipt of photo verification), the Tyng T-34 will increase MAG's operational firepower to a total of 3 heavy tanks and 1 light tank, with a number of other weapons systems in various states of design and construction.

Clearly, Maryland doesn't intend to give up the Ravens without a significant fight.