Tri-Pact News Service

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R/C Tank Combat

War In The Woods

Albert Tacklebottom

by Neil Rochford

The FTF has received word from the CSA asking assistance in the apprehension and bringing to book of one Mr. Unfortunate Eric. A tall well spoken young fellow with an eye for the ladies as it seems. When interviewed a FTF operative and long time member of the "Keep the North free from hoity-toity southern ponsy-pansy Party" Albert Tacklebottom, loudly had the following to say:

"This is just the reet kind of carrying on that right proper gets us Northern backs up . We don't see any point messing about with no DNA samples or blood group O+ bloody rubbish. The poor lass already has a scan picture thingy, what more proof does anyone need? I say lets be avin the soft shandy drinking beggar."
At this point the interview came to an end as an angry mob pushed past waving primitive garden tools above their heads and taking Mr. Tacklebottom away in its wake. Angry shouts of "That's as maybe" and "Happen it is" could be heard as the mass of cardigan wearing local men disappeared into the night, their hob nail boots sparking hard on the cobbles. It is believed that the Joiners Arms had record takings that night.

Due to popular local support the FTF is in preparation for a full assault of Charlie's woods in Surry on 5-6 September. Justice shall be done.