Tri-Pact News Service

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R/C Tank Combat

Teamster Turmoil


Annapolis, MD - Sept 2, 2007
by Vern Dernberger

Representatives of Anvilus Machine Works made the following shocking annoucement:

Anvilus Machine Works is pleased to announce our new exclusive supply contract with Marlow & Son construction battalion. Anvilus will provide real-time delivery of lumber, nails and shingles on the battlefield if Marlow & Sons assets are accidentally damaged in any way by incompetent tank commanders.

In related news, Anvilus unveiled their new plastic Jeep that will be used for Marlow & Son supply runs and delivering paint to the highest bidders. Our new Jeep is shown in the attached photo carrying a standard 40 round ammo pod.

Such an announcement not only took this reporter by surprise, but sent a shock wave through the hobby, causing a stir in the heart of the Tri-Pact corporate empire and their so-called affliates.

"The M520 Goer has proven itself to be the most dependable supply vehicle in the hobby", stated Tom "Five Fingers" Tanner, head of the local teamsters union, "and we are sure that Mr. Marlow will honor his side of the long-term leasing agreement between he and Tri-Pact Trucking." He continued to say that, "God forbid anything should happen to, say, Mr. Marlow and/or his son, we'd all be very disappointed." When asked why the teamsters union would take an interest in such leasing arrangements between two private companies, Mr. Tanner replied "Some people ask too many questions for their own good", at which point he drove off in a cloud of dust.

Dr. Joe Sommer, founder and CEO of the Anvilus Machine Works, had this to say about the new arrangement, "It's an open market and companies like Anvilus should be allowed to pursue whatever business deals they can make ... those thugs over at Tri-Pact need to retire that piece of junk and start leasing some new equipment if they want to compete in this market." When asked if he feared reprisals for his actions, Dr. Sommer stated that "the Pittelli family is all washed up, they don't got that kind of muscle anymore ... the Blattau brothers said that they'd back me up on this venture."

On past occasions, this reporter has been fortunate enough to talk with high-ranking individuals within Tri-Pact Trucking, as well as members of the Pittelli family itself. Through such contacts, the following "off-the-record" statement was made from an anonymous source, known only as Paulie, "A deal's a deal. We don't go back on our word and we expect the same from our partners. Mr. Marlow knows the arrangement he's made and he'll be expected to deliver on it. As for this Dr. Sommer, we don't know what we don't know ... you know what I mean?" I think we all know what that means.

After these shocking revelations, this reporter has uncovered a lot of preparations being made. Weapons and vehicles are being gathered, mattresses are being purchased and travel arrangements are being made. It is widely believed on the street that everything will come to a boil on or about Saturday, October 6th, 2007 someplace in the back-woods of Charles County. Old-timers, like Marty "The Legend" Hayes, experienced with such things say that "many men will go in, but only a few will return home that evening", at which point this trucking dispute should be over ... one way or the other.