Summer Skirmish

Dear Auntie Ethel

It's me, Unfortunate Eric! This weekend I met some nice men in a field who said they were "tankers". I thought they were so nice I opened a new page in my diary headed "Nice Men I Have Met" and wrote in their names:

Mr Chris. He has a Challenger. I think the challenge is to think it is a tank. It has lights at the front so you can see if it is turned on. Mr Pete says it looks like a frog with a rucksack. Mr Pete has a Sense of Humour.

Mr Pete has a Valentine. I think his girlfriend must have sent it to him. I prefer flowers. It looks like a tank with no tracks. He showed me the tracks. They were very nice, but I don't think they'll go round unless he sticks them on the tank. He says it is Mr Neil's fault they won't go on the tank. Mr Neil does not agree. Mr Neil says all sorts of things about Mr Pete, many of which you Would Not Like, Auntie. But I think he likes him really.

Mr Neil. He says he has a Leopard, but I think it is a tank.

Mr James. He has a jeep, which he says is very fast, but he has forgotten the controller. Silly Mr James! He is driving Mr Neil's other tank which is called a Marder. I said I thought the Spanish had Armada. Mr James did not laugh.

Mr Phil. He has a Locust. Some people have silly pets.

They said they had another friend, Mr Marc, who has a Stug and could not come. I think it sounds very painful.

The men said that they were having a battle and I could watch! Mr Phil had brought a castle and said I could sit in one of the towers. Mr Phil is very kind.

The men started their battle. First Mr Neil and Mr Pete fought together while the others broke down. Then the others got fixed and shot Mr Neil in the neck. Mr Neil said some more things you Would Not Like, Auntie.

I will write again shortly.

Unfortunate Eric