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R/C Tank Combat

Chelmsford Conflict

Search For Glory

by Phil Palmer

From the wind-blown heaths of the North they came - wild men, savage, wearing flat caps, their whippets at their side. I donned the traditional white micro-skirt and stiletto sling-backs of Essex and raced to join the loyal residents of Chelmsford in their defence against the KOR foe.

The situation was desperate. Armed only with the tiny Locust T055, dubious Hetzer T027, and my Hetzer T057 (immobilized and operating as an artillery piece), the loyal Government forces faced the might of Neil's Leopard T051 and Pete's Valentine (not listed, and currently also operating as artillery). The position was worsened when T057 exploded destroying three children's homes and a hospice1.

The battle was on. First into the fray was Jason, driving the Jeep. Grim, merciless, knowing no loyalty to any man, his goal was to sell paint. To anyone. For cash (well, 100 points actually). He hid behind a building (Unfortunate Eric's Glassware Emporium) and waited for custom.

Next Neil attacked with the Leopard, rampaging into enemy lines. The aim of both sides was simple - destroy the enemy - and he attacked Tom in the Locust mercilessly.

Chris had done a sterling job wiring up T027 with a C6C, the only problem being that he'd wired the controller up backwards and couldn't reverse it. So screaming his battlecry "Retreat! Forwards!", he charged into combat. Sources were unclear as to whether he was very brave or just couldn't work out forward/back.

Both sides retired to lick their wounds. The Locust (now operated by Chris) decided to stop moving and became an artillery piece. Phil took over T055. Jason took over Campaign Director (from Phil). Tom took on the profitable Jeep delivery franchise.

The KOR had now evacuated the entire population of Chelmsford (Unfortunate Eric) and interned him near Pete's immobile Valentine. Fighting recommenced with a new goal for the loyal Southerners - recapture Eric! A succession of lucky (or brilliant) shots forced the chip-butty eaters back to base. Pete's Valentine was destroyed by a regiment of helicopter gunships 2 and Eric was rescued!

Points were earned by all sides, but not enough for the Southerners to conquer the Northerners who claimed victory on the day. Government forces retired to prepared positions. Peace returned to Chelmsford but at what cost? Several cardboard boxes had suffered minor damage. Eric's arm (added that morning) was shot off. An awful lot of fun had been had by all.

All assets stopped working eventually, with the exception of the Jeep and T055, which apart from being difficult to open up performed faultlessly.

Thanks are due to Chris and his friends for organising the event and venue, and the School for allowing us the use of their field.

Peace was restored. But when will war break out again?

1 Not totally true. Actually it just fired multiple shots and stopped working- electrical fault.

2 Again not totally true, but it stopped firing for some reason. Perhaps it was the paintball fairies.