Re: Teamster Turmoil - Oct 6 [TANKS]

[Frank Pittelli <frank-at-rctankcombat.com>]

anvilus9-at-comcast.net wrote:
> Concomitantly, Anvilus Machine Works has been forced to upgrade 
> our new M38 Jeep with an M20 75mm recoilless rifle as shown
> in the attached photos.
 >
 > 
http://www.rctankcombat.com/attachment/msg21731/M38_Jeep_with_M20_75mm_recoilless_rifle.jpg
> 
> We specifically request to know the allowable magazine size
> for this awesome new weapon of free commerce.
> 
> Fred Simms, Senior Test Driver, Director of Anvilus Proving Grounds
> Ted Simms, Apprentice Test Driver, Better Looking than Fred

Dear Mr. Simms,

Our office has conducted an extensive evaluation of your vehicle design, 
driver qualifications and perfunctory purposes.  We have determined that 
under the current rules, it falls under the "Armored Car" category with 
an offensive rating of 20, thereby allowing you to equip it with a 20 
shot paintball magazine.  Since the vehicle has no armor, it only 
qualifies for a defensive rating of 1.  However, that is not really a 
problem given the past track record of you actually participating in a 
battle.

Unfortunately, based on input from a number of our associates in the 
labor unions and pension funds, we have been alerted to possible 
problems with your vehicle that need to be addressed before it can see 
any action.  First and foremost, the vehicle is clearly not safe for the 
intended drivers with no seatbelts, shoulder harness, wind-screen or 
roll-cage.  We would expect to see such basic safety equipment on it 
before battling.  Furthermore, our associates' records indicate that the 
proper fees have not been paid in full.  At this time, and every week 
hereafter, the unpaid interest will be added to the principle until your 
debt is wiped out ... if you know what we mean.

Finally, you should be clear on this point ... we want both you, your 
lovely wife, three darlin' children and a dog located at 331 Main St. in 
a pretty little white house, to be safe at all times.  God forbid 
anything should happen to them because you failed to follow the safety 
procedures outlined above or did something stupid, like, say, haulin' 
ammo and supplies for the wrong people ... if you know what we mean.

        Vinnie DePalma
        Dir. of Policy Enforcement
        Tri-Pact Safety Division