Tyng/Tri-Pact Secret Project THORF

[Vern Dernberger <vern.dernberger-at-tns.org>]

Title:

Tri-Pact News Service We Make The News

R/C Tank News Tyng/Tri-Pact Secret Project THORF by Vern Dernberger

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Annapolis, Maryland - January 26, 2004:

For the past few months, many experts in the R/C Tank Combat hobby have speculated about the existence of a super-secret joint project between the two technical power-houses, Tyng Laboratories, a wholly owned subsidiary of Tyng Enterprises, Ltd, and the Tri-Pact Institute of Technology, a non-profit organization devoted to fostering world-peace through effective weaponry.  The initial indication of such a project, referred to only as "THORF", was learned from a internal communication between the two technical and economic jugernauts that was accidentally leaked.  When asked to comment on the record, both organizations refused to answer calls from this reporter.

With recent signs that the Tyng/Anvilus alliance is either faltering or has already collapsed,  and an apparent build-up of Anvilus Forces north of the Mason-Dixon line, this reporter began digging deeper into Project THORF to see if it was real or imaginery.  The initial investigative trail started with a location code-named "Area 14" deep inside the infamous St. Charles dry lakebed test facility which is purportedly owned by Tyng Enterprises.  After monitoring the entrance to the super-secret test site (conveniently located off of Route 4, exit 15 just south of the Taco Bell - turn  left at the sign labeled "Super-Secret Test Site")  for over a month, this reporter counted no less than 257 representatives from both Tyng Laboratories and the Tri-Pact Institute of Technology entering on a regular basis.   One by one, the backgrounds of each person were checked to determine if one of them might want to help the investigation, even though their lives could be in danger.  Surprisingly, over 150 witnesses came forwarded seeking reward money (apparently Tyng/Tri-Pact payscales aren't what they used to be), providing this reporter with a wealth of information.

As shown here, Project THORF is apparently some sort of advanced battlefield control system.  Many experts believe that it is based on the same technology deployed in the Tri-Pact Battlestar Management System (TP-BSMS), although in a lower-cost, mass-producible format.  Made primarily of wood and wood by-products (a trademark of Tyng Labs), the THORF device can be placed anywhere on the battlefield in mass numbers. Unfortunately, none of the informants were able to describe the advanced capabilities of the THORF device or even its intended purpose.  Apparently, only a handful of scientists in the two organizations are privy to that information, perhaps only the leaders themselves.  This reporter will continue to dig deeper to determine the technical details, despite recent threats from both organizations

As stated above, neither organization had anything to say officially when confronted with this story.  However, Joe Sommer, founder of the Anvilus Plastic Works, a purveyor of cheap, plastic combat equipment, had this to say, "Those southern boys are pure evil and they've got to be eliminated."  When asked if he knew anything about Project THORF, he continued to state that "I'm not sure what it does, how it works or even how much it sells for, but I'm sure that Anvilus can make  it faster, better and cheaper".  Unfortunately, Joe was called away before the interview was completed because of a strike by his under-paid, over-worked sweat-shop student laborers.

Although corporated representatives had no official comment, I did meet up with John Pittelli, the reclusive elder financier of the Pittelli Empire while he was waiting to board a plane to Las Vegas.  I asked him how Project THORF fit into his future plans, to which he replied, "I'm not sure what the boys back in the lab are working on these days, my job is simply to keep the funding flowing and to drive my Panzer to victory on the battlefield.  Now, please pardon me,
I need to place some bets, er, I mean, invest some money for the company".

After confronting Will Montgomery, one of the most feared battlefield veterans in the hobby,  with the photo above, he stated that "Anvilus makes crappy vehicles and Fred Simms is a coward.  Even if the THORF devices don't work, I'll destroy anything that comes south of the Mason Dixon line with my new tank destroyer."

Clearly, the Tyng/Tri-Pact alliance is real and the almost certain conflict with the Anvilus Coalition in the Spring may demonstrate some advanced capabilities that were only dreamed of a few years ago.