[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]
Anvilus Machine Works was pleasantly surprised
that O-de-Pact identified our most recent marketing
campaign, and we thank you for your invaluable
market share research.
Yes, we are targeting the 4-10 year old female
market sector for Hetzer sales as Barbie accessories.
What little 4-10 year old BOY would not be green with
envy upon seeing the GIRL next door driving her Barbie
around the block in an R/C armored fighting vehicle (AFV)?
That little boy will ask, no demand, a Hetzer for his GI
Joe action figures.
Then the boy's father will also covet a Hetzer for himself,
and to provide AFV parity in the neighborhood the girl's
father will be forced to buy another Hetzer. Lastly, given
the proclivity of Anvilus Hetzers to premature axle failure,
both families will need to buy a third for spare parts.
Hence, each Hetzer sold in the 4-10 year old female
market sector will generate FIVE more Hetzer sales.
We believe that this new marketing ploy will shatter
Tri-Pact's strangle hold on the recreational AFV market,
and provide untold new revenues for Anvilus R&D
Secondly, we were saddened by your comment about
Fred Simms being "cheap and easy". Fred is still
undergoing counseling, and trying to forget that
disgraceful weekend in Havre de Grace with you and
your "sailing" buddies. Fred vows never to drink tequila
Lastly, we are ready to buy paintballs to splatter your
pretty little Tri-Pact tanks in October. We respectfully
request advice from your French couturiers at O-de-Pact
on the most vogue colors to paint your tanks and match
the glorious fall foliage in MD.
a) rust-red to honor Tri-Pact maintenance procedures
b) flame-orange to match recent Tri-Pact battery fires
while installing EV Warrior motors
c) just plain yellow
Joe "Just a Slave to Fashion" Sommer
2378 Nantucket Circle, State College, PA 16803