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From: Vern Dernberger <vern.dernberger-at-tns.org>
Subject: *** ACTUNG ALL RC TANK COMMANDERS ***
Date: Fri, 07 Feb 2003 20:45:10 -0500
Reply-To: tanks-at-rctankcombat.com

Title:
HIGH ALERT

Berlin, MD - February 7, 2003

The Office of Fatherland Security has raised the alert condition to "High" because of reported troop movements in the Mid-Atlantic United States.  All R/C Tank Commanders should prepare for immediate deployment.

Intelligence sources indicate that an advanced unit of the Tyng-and-Sommer television show has been seen preparing for troop movements, with an apparent departure sometime tomorrow morning.  All commanders who are loyal to the Fatherland should review all plans and procedures associated with Operation Blue Summer (O-BS), which will commence at 01000 Saturday morning at the Tri-Pact Proving Grounds (TPPG).

Forward recon units from New Jersey have been ordered to proceed South to assist as needed should hostilities (or hemmoroids) flare-up.

High A High Condition is declared when there is a high risk of bladder attacks. In addition to the measures taken in the previous threat conditions, imperial departments and agencies will consider the following protective measures:
  • Coordinate necessary security efforts with imperial, state, and local law enforcement agencies, Gestapo or other security and armed forces;
  • Take additional precautions at public events, possibly considering alternative venues or even cancellation;
  • Prepare to execute contingency procedures, such as moving to an alternate site or dispersing the workforce; and
  • Restrict access to a threatened facility to essential personnel only.